Defining My Faith // January 2016 | New Year, Same Me

Defining My Faith // January 2016 | New Year, Same Me

Wednesday 25 January 2017

I am taking a deep breathe as I start to write this post as I don't know how it is going to go. I have no structure or plan. I do know roughly what I want to talk about but that could honestly go in any direction so please bare with me.

I am not religious. I feel like that is a bold statement especially because thats the main topic of this pot but hear me out. I don't define myself as religious in any way, shape or form. You may disagree but i don't care. I don't define myself as religious because to me that sounds cult like and to be honest something I don't want to be apart of. I do however have faith, 100% believe in God. Don't get me wrong I have my moments of doubt but we all do. None of us are perfect and I definitely at times have doubt that God is real.

If you had asked me 2 years ago if i believed in God or had faith I would have black out said no. 8 years ago i would have said yes and now I also say yes. So why the shift from yes to no and back to yes. I was bought up as Christian and as I got older I didn't agree with some of the idea that were bought up around me, I also had events occur in my private life that I didn't understand why God would let that happen. After a lot of education and developing my own thoughts about certain topics I have come to the decision that I do have faith and I do believe in God.

In the last 6 months my faith has got stronger and it is stronger than it has ever been. I have had interactions that have made my faith stronger, I have also attended 'events' that have made my faith stronger and that is something I will never be ashamed of. This year I want to expand my faith more, I want to start going to church which is another topic that is more complicated than it may seem from the outside but it is something I will potentially do a blog post on.

What is your stance on religion? What are your beliefs? 

Let me know in the comments below. (Please be respectful of other people)

Mental Health Goals // January 2016 | New Year, New Me

Mental Health Goals // January 2016 | New Year, New Me

Sunday 22 January 2017

My Mental Health is obviously important, as is everybodies! This year I want to continue to kick ass with my mental health and continue to improve it. This year I said goodbye to depression, while I am sure that I will at some point have depression again, I am currently depression free. I also have my PTSD under control which is excited. Don't get me wrong though there is definitely some things I still won't do and other things I struggle to do but in 2016 I definitely achieved things I didn't think I would in terms of my mental health.

This year I want to continue to talk to you guys about mental health and how it can effect people. Mental Health education is super important and therefore something I want to be talking about more. Last year I posted a depression post that I worked with the mental health foundation on. I want to continue to work with them to release more blog posts educated you all. I also want to talk publicly about my own struggle with mental health both on my blog and other public platforms, I want to do this because I feel as though hearing other peoples stories has helped me and could potentially help others.

My own personal mental health isn't really something I talk about. This is because I am a fairly private person and don't like going into details it is also something that is obviously hard to talk about. I want to talk to you guys about the things I have struggled with and continue to struggle with. I will talk to you all about my diagnosis, and what my mental health means in terms of my feelings and all that. I also want to open up to you all about why i don't talk about it, and why I find it such a taboo subject. I feel like there is some obvious reasons however there is also other personal things that I don't talk about often and I only once publicly spoken about (which I have since deleted the instagram post). My mental health has improved an amazing amount in 2016 ad is something I want to keep improving. I am currently seeing a therapist and I have that funded till November which I will definitely keep going to because it has helped me in ways I never thought possible. I also want to talk to you all about going to therapy and my opinions on it because it is a little more complicated than it may seem.

What is your stance on mental health? Is it something you have struggled with?

Let me know in the comments below.

Getting Fit and Healthy

Getting Fit and Healthy

Wednesday 18 January 2017

Follow my blog with Bloglovin This is going to be a series of 'New Year, Same Me' so you will be able to find all my resolution and goal posts under 'New Year, Same Me' tab under categories.
You can check out the post that I talk about my new years resolutions here and my 2017 bucket list here.

Getting fit has been something I have wanted to do for a while. I use to be fit, play sport, go running and all of that crap, but I got depression and all of that stopped and that is literally my only excuse. Fitness to me is being able to do what you want when you want. Going on a run Sunday Morning because you can and want to. Just being able to do shit without thinking will I die? (Sorry, just being real).

This is complicated, okay not really but whatever. I want to start eating whole healthy foods. I also want to cut out red meat (eventually white, and seafood etc.) and slowly eventually making my way to plant based. I don't know if that will happen but it is something that I at this very moment in time want to do. In a year or 3 months if I don't want to anyone I won't but at the moment I am heading that direction. I am currently full of dairy and meaty goodness, and am taking SMALL steps. For example I am attempting to make the rest of January a red meat free zone (bare in mind I am writing this on the 7th so don't go saying its only a week) I will see how that goes then carry out or change or whatever I decide. I have already cut out junk food (homemade pizza doesn't count, so shut up). Good things take time and changing my diet overnight isn't something I plan to do.

In terms of fitness I am starting to walk a few times a week, I also have plans to do a 12km walk or run (haven't decided yet) this year which gives me something to work towards. I am excited to be at the same fitness point I was at  a few years ago. I want to go out and explore different places by foot and just live life and be happy and all that crap. I am also going to start at home yoga and pilates to help with that whole thang.

I feel like people that know me are going to be like it also wouldn't kill you to loose a few kgs. Yes ok I know I have gained weight in the last few years. I KNOW. Obviously, this is something that will happen as I get healthy and fitter but in all complete honesty it's not something I am like this is what I want to do. I want to be happy, healthy and fit. I want to feel good and I would be happy loosing weight but at the end of the day just because I loose weight doesn't mean that I will instantly be happy. Happiness I think will come with being healthy and fit, which to me is more important.

If you have any advice or are on a health and fitness journey as well feel free to flick me an email at paigemargaretblog@gmail.com and pop HEALTH AND FITNESS, NEW YEAR in the subject thing.

Do you have any health and fitness goals for this year, if so what are they?

Let me know in the comments below.

Creating A Cruelty Free Make Up Bag

Creating A Cruelty Free Make Up Bag

Sunday 15 January 2017

Another one of my goals this year that I haven't spoken about on my blog is being cruelty-free, in terms of beauty products (eventually vegan, however, good things take time and isn't something I plan on doing straight away). I have no idea what of my current beauty products are cruelty-free, but I definitely want to make my beauty a little less cruel. While I'm not going to throw any products out when it comes to needing to buy new stuff I am going to buy cruelty-free. I thought I would share with you a list of the brands that I currently use and whether they are cruelty-free or not.

If they have YES next to them they are cruelty free, and if NO they are not. If there is anything else written next to them they also have an explanation.

Chanel - NO this one I'm really sad about because I use their CC cream and I love it my favourite eyeshadow is also a Chanel (which have about two uses left) thus, I am going to have to find a new favourite make-up brand.

Elizabeth Arden- SORT OF, I am also really sad about this one! While Elizabeth Arden is cruelty-free they do state that they test on animals where required by law, they also sell in China which means they do test on animals. I won't be repurchasing this brand. I love the eight-hour cream and some of my favourite products are from Elizabeth Arden but it isn't worth it!

Real Techniques - YES! I was so pleased about this because I love the brushes so much!

Nutrimetics- YES

Natio - YES

Rimmel London- NO

Australis - YES

Formula 10.0.6- YES (Thank Goodness)

ColourPop- YES

Covergirl- NO

Revlon- SORT OF, This is another brand that claims it is cruelty-free however they sell in China where it is required by law to test on animals, so no it isn't.

e.l.f.- YES

Za - YES

Tanya Burr Cosmetics- YES

These are just some of my beauty product brands that I currently own and in all honesty I am pleasantly surprised while there are companies I am extremely disappointed in *Cough* Chanel *Cough* and others I was disappointed that they sold in China, although Elizabeth Arden is working with organizations they still sell in China which they can't really defend themselves on. You can check out their statement here.

**After writing this post I have decided to get rid of my beauty products that aren't cruelty-free (bye, bye Chanel), I am however keeping my Elizabeth Arden products until they are all used. This is because of the amount of Elizabeth Arden and the cost of Elizabeth Arden I have. I will NOT be repurchasing Elizabeth Arden until they are cruelty-free. I am also going to be getting rid of the products that I am not sure of.

For a list of products that are cruelty-free visit logicalharmony.net

Did any of these brands surprise you? Are your beauty products cruelty-free?

Let me know in the comments below.

Healthy Summer Breakfasts with Recipes

Healthy Summer Breakfasts with Recipes

Friday 13 January 2017

Here are my five delicious, cheap and healthy breakfasts that are great for everyday!

Pink Summer Smoothie

1 Cup Strawberries

3/4 Cup Frozen Berries

3/4 Cup Coconut Water

3/4 Coconut Milk

1/2 Cup Chopped Pineapple (Frozen works, but fresh is better)

1 Small Beetroot (Tinned works)

Blend them altogether and enjoy!

Fruit

A great quick and easy breakfast is different fruits all sliced up together. It's also a super refreshing and light breakfast which makes it great for every day.

Christmas Oats

Ingredients:

¼ tsp Cinnamon

¼ tsp Ground cloves

¼ tsp Allspice

¼ tsp Ground Ginger

¼ tsp Nutmeg

1 tsp Vanilla essence

1 Cup Oats

Directions:

1.     Combine all ingredients in a small bowl or container, and soread evenly on a baking tray

2.     Bake on 250C for 20 minutes

3.    Cool, and place in a bowl adding milk and toppings (if desired) these can include berries, fruit, seeds, or nuts. A special treat can include grated dark chocolate. Then, enjoy!

Pancakes:

Ingredients:

2 eggs

½ tsp Cinnamon

½ cup ground oats

1 small banana

1 tsp almond butter

Directions:

1.     Blend all the ingredients together, adding more water if needed.

2.      Then heat a skillet or frying pan to medium heat with almond butter and cook.

3.     Plate, add desired toppings and enjoy.

Smoothie:

Ingredients:

1/2 cup coconut water

½ cup water

½ cup oats

150gm Berries

Directions:

1.     Blend together all the ingredients.

2.     Pour in a glass and serve!

What are your favourite summer breakfasts? Have you tried any of these?

Let me know in the comments below.

December 2016 Favourites

December 2016 Favourites

Wednesday 11 January 2017

I found a lot of new things I love in December and I also rediscovered something. Here are my December favourites:

1. Natio Flawless Foundation, $24.50
I recently rediscovered this product, although it calls itself a full coverage foundation I don't think it is. I use it as an everyday foundation and it gives a good coverage but not too full. This foundation also has a really nice finish. If you are looking at buying the Chanel CC Cream, but are put off by the price I love this one just as much.

2. Nutrimetics Blushing Face Palette, $44.97
I purchased this palette about a month and a half ago and to be honest I don't like the blusher or the highlight, however, I am in love with the contour in this palette.It makes the skin look really nice and adds a nice glow, without looking muddy.

3. Ted Dekker A.D.30, $16.99
I am currently reading the second and last book in this series and I really like it. It challenges thinking and gives faith in not the usual perspective. Definitely, a recommended reading.

4. Tanya Burr Everyday Flutter False Eyelashes, $10.10
I have never really worn fake lashes before however I love these lashed and wear them all the time. I love these fake lashes because they don't look too fake and give my lashes some length and volume that I don't usually have.

5.  Sugar Baby Golden Glamour Fake Tan, $20.75
Naturally, I am very pale, and if I go out in the sun I have a tendency to burn I also don't have time to lie in the sun and tan, so this is a great alternative. It gives your skin a healthy glow without the harmful rays the sun has.

What have you been loving this month? Do you use any of these products?

Let me know in the comments below.

2017 Bucket List // January 207 | Life

2017 Bucket List // January 207 | Life

Sunday 8 January 2017

My bucket list and new year resolutions are separate because my new year resolutions are more focused on my well being and improving who I am however my bucket list is about ticking things off that I have always wanted to do.

1. Visit somewhere on the lonely planet ultimate travel list
I love travel but I am a uni student so there is only so much time and money that one can put towards travel, during this time. However, half way through 2106 I bought the lonely planet ultimate travel list and I want to be able to say I have done at least one thing on the list.

2. Go bungee jumping/ sky diving (or something terrifying with heights)
I hate heights, the idea of being so high up in the air that I could fall. It terrifies me potentially more than anything else in the world so this year want to do something that helps to conquer that fear whether it is jumping off a building or out of a plane.

3. Book Tickets to Bali (or some other amazing place)
I have wanted to visit Bali for the longest time, like the looooooooongest time. Thus, this year I don't necessarily want to go to Bali ut I want to have flights booked for Bali and really just to make it so I can't get out of it, and I have to go.

4. Dye my hair some ridiculous color like blue or red.
I have talked about this so many times it is ridiculous, I am a natural brunette and three years ago I dyed my hair blonde and that is kinda a crazy as it's gotten (which is not at all, I know). I have always wanted to dye my hair blue, but I have always been scared to do it, because I mean it's my hair and what if it looks s$#t

5. Do a 10km run/walk for charity.
This is something that I pretty much have a plan for what charity, who I'm going to do it with and when I am going to do it. Charities are amazing and important and improving my fitness is also one of my focus' this year so what better way to help accomplish that is to do a 10km for charity. The one I will participating in is in November so I have a lot of time to get fit for it. My ultimate goal is to run a marathon but obviously not for quite a few years.

I will be documenting all of these things, and progress on here, so make sure you check back regularly.

Is there anything you want to tick off your bucket list this year? Do you have any resolutions or bucket list items?

Let me know in the comments below.

The unknown: Something more than that??

The unknown: Something more than that??

Friday 6 January 2017

The unknown and overcoming it is something I have struggled with for a very long time and is something I talked about in my new years resolutions post.

The Unknown and the though of it scares me, but like with any fear I talked about it with my therapist. It doesn't mean just because I have talked about it with my therapist for a couple of sessions that I am magically cured and no longer scared of the unknown because it defiantly doesn't work like that, although i wish it did.

*deep breathe* since I was a kid I hated doing things that I didn't know every detail about, I hated meeting people and doing things that I couldn't predict the outcome to and throughout the years with the experiences I have been through it has enforced this fear more and more, I was finding myself stopping doing things because I couldn't predict what was going to happen.

Last year, things had to change. I made massive decisions that ultimately I didn't know what was going to happen. I had to make the decision whether I was going to better myself and further my life or I was going to take the safe option. I chose to take the riskier option. I chose to move cities, start uni, a new job and so much more! It was terrifying and looking back all so worth it. It was worth it because of the experiences I have had (both positive and negative), the knowledge I have gained, and the friends and people i have met, as well las so many more things.

While these are things that I have taken a chance with it doesn't mean I wasn't terrified by them, I am also finding that I am still making decisions out of fear of not knowing what is going to happen. I have needed the start of potential relationships with amazing people because i am scared of getting hurt, I don't do things and avoid places and doing things because I can't predict the outcome. One event imparticular have been heavily based on not knowing what is going to happen and with this particular thing whatever I decide I cannot predict the outcome, which obviously is something that I struggled to deal with. Ultimately I have realised that, this is probably something I will always struggled with however I came to the decision on what to do in that situation. I decided that ultimately I have to do what is best for me, I don't know if it will be the right decision in 6 months, five year or even 20 years but right now this is the best decision for me. Yes, it could be viewed as the most predictable option but ultimately I chose this decision because it is the best thing for me.

Ultimately sometimes the safe option is what is best for us and that is how we should live always choosing the option that will be best for you, whether that is scary and unknown or not. My therapist and I made a list as we do quite often that list consisted of some of the  things that I have done that I didn't know what the outcome was going to be and it turned out the it was mostly positive outcomes, sure there were things that turned out to be crap ut from those experiences I have learned valuable things and they have helped shape me into the person i am today.

Live life with the thought process of how good is it going to be for you, what are you going to learn that will be of value to you!

Looking back on 2016

Looking back on 2016

As I look back on 2016 i am glad that it is gone however I am also glad that it happened. 2016 globally was a sh%t year, personally; it was a sh$t year. However, if i look at it as a bigger picture its not as bad as I think. I've learnt a lot, experienced a lot and met a lot of amazing people.


January
2016 started off with passing high school and getting accepted into university. This came with a lot of stress. The stress involved picking a university, and finding a flat in another city. I also go to visit a lot of family which was awesome.

February
I moved to a new city, got my restricted license and started uni all within two days. February was busy, long and stressful. This month was also very daunting, I have anxiety (to say that is an understatement) however with uni my anxiety wasn't that bad, I think was more because I didn't have time to process things and thus, no time get anxious however I will never forget the 30seconds that I was at the lights that I suddenly felt anxious. The light soon turned green and the anxiety quickly disappeared.



March
March was pretty much filled with uni assignments, not really to much else.

April.
April was a good month. My birthday is on a public holiday which meant that i had a three day weekend for my 18 combine this with the fact it was 3 of my other friedan 18th it equalled an amazing weekend with an amazing bunch of friends and too much alcohol consumed. Regardless, it was still a good weekend and was a nice break from uni even if I did regret it the next day. This month also had its ups and downs. I had a pretty bad depressive episode at the end of the month, it started off with driving to work, I got there and burst into tears, literally had a meltdown in the carpark of work. That was fun and stressful. I drove home and called my aunty and went and stayed with them for a few days. This did mean that I missed uni and work but it was for my mental health and that should always be number 1.

May.
May was also pretty boring catching up on assignments from my meltdown (haha, sh*t I was a mess) and basically getting my shit together as well.

June.
June was the same as March although I was in a much better mood because I had holidays coming up and was going to Niue in July.

July
Most of the month I spent with family and in Niue. I loved Niue and it is such a beautiful place. You can check out my blog post on Niue here. I also started second semester at uni, same old thing as semester one.

August, September.
I'm going to combine the two because they were pretty boring. I kept going to therapy as I had throughout the year which was hard because my therapist is in Whangarei and I was living in Auckland but I managed it and it has resulted in me kicking my mental illness in the butt, maybe not really kicking it in the butt but I have made so much progress and if I may say I am proud of myself. I also starting going to a young adults christian group which was amazing and over the last few months I have continues to explore my faith which is also something that I will continue to do. I also moved house, forgot about that one although is probably of some importance!

October
The friend I met at uni who had become one of my best friends called me a f%^&ing b^%&h (still don't know why). Yea, so that happened. Obviously, We are no longer friends.

November
I finished exams (thank goodness!), moved back to Whangarei (only over summer), and relaunched my blog. November was amazing! There really isn't anything else to say.

December
I feel like this was the same as everyone else December. It was controlled by Christmas, I also participated in blogmas and got my end of the year results (We aren't talking about those).

It was an amazing year, although it had its up and downs but I got through it in one piece!

What was your 2016 highlights? What month was your most eventful?
Let me know in the comments below.

New Year, Same Me, New Goals 2017

New Year, Same Me, New Goals 2017

Saturday 31 December 2016

I never considered myself to be somebody that would set new years resolutions because I firmly believe that if you want to achieve something that you shouldn't have to wait for the 1st of January to be able to do it. I believed and still believe that if you want to achieve it, you should just go out and do it. However, with saying that I have set new goals for 2017. They may not be ones that are measurable or achievable but who isn't up for a challenge. I have set nine goals/ challenges for myself to achieve in 2017, follow me if you want to follow my journey in 2017.

1. Blog
I want to grow my blog and make it something that I am proud of. Don't get me wrong I am proud of it now but I want to be able to dedicate time every week to making this place of the internet an accurate representation of who I am as a person. I want my blog to be a digital version of myself. The digital version representing both the pain and the joy I have through the year, I want to share my deepest insecurities, my happiest moments, the goals I achieve, memories iImake. I want you to see who I really am!

2. Health and Fitness
As I said on blogmas day 23 health and fitness is something I definitely want to improve on. I want to be as fit as I was three years ago, I want to do yoga and go for runs as I use to. I want my outlook on food to change, I want it to nourish my body. One of my main goals for 2017 is to cut out most sugar, and to pretty much cut out food that isn't going to nourish me that means post-hangover pizza and burgers.

3. Fear.
This is something I struggle with, always have probably always will. While I can blame it on several mental illness and events in my past ultimately I have decided not to, it's something I can and want to change. My fear of the unknown and my fear of things like heights are completely different thus I am going to put them as separate points. My goal for this year is to do one thing a month, 12 in total that scares the crap out of me. This may be bungee jumping or skydiving. However, scare me? It will. Conquer?  Well, we will have to see about that one.

4. Unknown.
The unknown is my biggest fear. It has changed how I see and react to different events. I have had this fear for a few years. I have a fear of not knowing if you're  going to fall in love, or get your heart broken whether you're going to have that first kiss or it will be a disaster it is all terrifying. However that is something I want to overcome I want to be excited by the unknown I want to be excited to think I could fall in love or get my dream job or whatever it may be because it the end of the day as a friend put it; if it is meant to be it will be. Sometimes we have to just do things and not overthink things, which I have a history of doing, I'm a self-confessed control freak and that is definitely something that I want to let go of.

5. My past.
This is a big one for me, a lot of things that have happened in my past I talk about to very few people. I feel vulnerable and open when I talk about these things and that is something nobody like to feel, however, the events that have occurred in my life have also happened to a lot of other people as well and in 2017 I want to be able to embrace my past and to help others with my story and my experience. There is probably less than 20 people that know what happened and even less know the effects and what I know have to deal with because of it, but so many people go through the same thing and don't have a way out or don't see a way out. I have found a way to be myself again and that is something that I have so many people to thank for.

6. My Faith.
This is a big one my faith is something I struggled with for a long time. When I was younger (4 or 5) I would go to Sunday School and I also went to a private Christian School for two years (Some of my friends a couple of years ago couldn't believe it, I'm not exactly a type A Christian) however growing up I saw a lot and experienced even more and that definitely changed my outlook on my faith and God. I lost respect for him however over the last year I have, started finding my faith again and have definitely experienced some amazing things. In 2017 I want to explore my faith more and what being a Christian means to me.

7. Acceptance.
I am not perfect nobody is, however, I want to learn to accept myself and be nicer to myself. Yes, I have acne, freckles, scars and so much more but at the end of the day, they have come with me through every experience some experiences causing scars whether they are visible or not. I am who I am and I need to learn to love myself, and who I am just as much as the next person.

8. Anxiety and Mental Health.
This year I have made so much progress with my anxiety which of course is amazing, however, over the next year, I want to be able to say that anxiety is something that no longer affects my day to day life. I don't want to be scared of having a panic attack in the middle of the supermarket (which yes has happened this year and it was not a good time).

9. Getting my sh*t together.
I hate when there are no plans, hence, why I am a self, confessed control freak. In 2017 I want to get my sh*t together both in my personal life, as school and professionally. By personally I don't mean getting into a relationship, I mean seeing my friends and family more and making time for the people in my life that have been there for me and supported me, if that happens to mean I meet someone amazing and fall in love so be it, although it isn't something that I will be actively seeking out (although you can apply below, I am joking). School, this year started off great I got pretty decent grades although the second semester well lets just say that didn't go so well, I also had a lot more going on and was travelling to Whangarei every week for therapy, however, my time in between that wasn't thought out very well, thus this year I have a goal to attend all my tutorials. Yes, every single one. I am aware that there may be events that cause m to not be able to make it but there is always an exception to the rule although a hangover is not one! Improving my grades is something that is extremely important to me and a goal I definitely want to achieve in the new year. Professionally, by this I mean my blog and well you can just go and see number 1 for this.

What are your new year resolutions? What do you want to see from me?

Let me know in the comments below.

Follow Me on Snapchat: paigemwea